I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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