And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
