Christians are straight up FREAKS
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
