Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
The air taste purple.
Randomize
