I must be too annoying 4 u.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize