this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Randomize
