Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
