if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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