Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I AM VODKA MAN
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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