i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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