I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
