you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
