so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
