her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
