I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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