I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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