I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
