why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
