Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
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