He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
