you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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