Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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