I think im going to throw up on grandma
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
