Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
