i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
