wanna go halves on a baby?
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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