You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
