AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
