You're completely useless in the revolution.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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