I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
