We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
