I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
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