I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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