$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
