i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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