What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
operation harelip BJ is a go
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
