"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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