just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
