her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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