Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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