It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
