I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
