Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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