Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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