I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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