Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
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