If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
