hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
