That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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