i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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