I hate your face
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
