Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
