A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
