No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
